I Know I Don’t Know When to Give Up



When I was a teenager, I worked in a hotel restaurant. One night, water started pouring into the cloak room. I grabbed a mop and got to work. I didn’t ask questions, didn’t call for help, didn’t stop to wonder where the water was coming from. I just mopped—bucket after bucket, like I was going to win the fight by sheer effort.

It didn’t stop. And neither did I.

Eventually, the hotel manager came by. He looked at the growing puddle, looked at me, and said, “You can stop now.”

I did. But not because the job was done—because someone made the decision for me.

That moment sticks with me. Not because it was dramatic, but because it was true. I don’t know when to give up. Still don’t, really. And that trait—it’s helped me, hurt me, and shaped me.

Looking back, I can almost hear Marcus Aurelius whispering:
“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

If I’d understood that as a young man, maybe I wouldn’t have tried to mop up life itself. Maybe I would’ve paused, taken a breath, and asked: Is this mine to fix?

But when you’re young, you don’t separate effort from outcome. You think hard work is always the answer. You think persistence is virtue in every situation. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s just pride in a work shirt.

Stoicism doesn’t tell you to give up—it tells you to see clearly. To know the difference between what you control and what you don’t. That’s the part I missed.

I’ve stayed in fights too long. Jobs too long. Conversations too long. Relationships too long. Not out of love or loyalty—just because I didn’t want to be the one who gave up.

But here’s the truth:
There’s a difference between quitting and knowing it’s not your fight.

I still don’t know when to give up. But I’ve learned how to step back. To look at the situation. To judge it clearly. And to say, “Is this where my energy belongs?”

So if I could go back and talk to that kid in the hotel hallway, knee-deep in water with a mop in his hand, I wouldn’t tell him to stop.

I’d tell him to look up.

And then I’d tell him: Know what’s yours. Do your part. And let go of the rest.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Power of Silence

Image
How Stoicism Helps Handle Disrespect at Work: The Power of Silence   We’ve all been there—trying to help a coworker, only to receive an email that feels like an attack. Rather than gratitude or constructive feedback, their response is filled with negativity and criticism. The urge to fire back, to defend yourself, is strong. But as Stoics, we know there’s a more powerful approach: silence. Why Stoicism Teaches Us to Choose Silence When faced with a disrespectful email, it’s easy to get caught up in anger or frustration. But Marcus Aurelius reminds us, “You always have the option of having no opinion.” The Stoic approach is to step back and recognize that it’s not the event itself that disturbs us, but our judgment of it. Choosing not to respond is an act of wisdom. The Importance of Emotional Control in the Workplace Your first reaction may be to defend yourself or set the record straight. But responding from a place of emotion can pull you into the very negativity you’re trying to...
Read more

What’s the Point?

Image
  What’s the Point? (And Why That Question Matters) At some point, we all ask it. What’s the point of all this—working, striving, chasing, worrying—if we all end up in the same place? The writer of Ecclesiastes doesn’t sugarcoat it: “The wise have eyes in their heads, while fools walk in the dark; but I came to realize that the same fate overtakes them both.” That hits hard. It’s a truth most people spend their lives trying to avoid. But if we’re brave enough to sit with it for a minute, there’s actually peace on the other side. Because if all roads lead to the same end—if we’re dust in the end, no matter our title, bank account, or followers—then maybe the real value is found in how we live, not in what we accumulate. That’s a Stoic idea, too. Marcus Aurelius said, “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” Same message. Different robe. The point isn’t to be morbid—it’s to be clear. You don’t have to chase everything. Y...
Read more